


redemption lies plainly in truth

by veel



Series: purpled angst, i guess [5]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: <- that is a tag that should be used more often, Big Brother Sapnap, Gen, Grayson | Purpled Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Grayson | Purpled Needs a Hug, Hallucinations, Protective Karl Jacobs, Protective Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Sad Grayson | Purpled, Suicide Attempt, Unsympathetic Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), minor karlnapity fljkdsalkdfjs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 17:02:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29969553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/veel/pseuds/veel
Summary: read tags for tws please!!!!Standing on top of his UFO, Purpled looks down at the ground.
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity/Karl Jacobs/Sapnap, Andrew | gamerboy80 & Grayson | Purpled (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Grayson | Purpled (Video Blogging RPF), Grayson | Purpled & Hannah | Hannahxxrose (Video Blogging RPF), Grayson | Purpled & Ponk | DropsByPonk (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: purpled angst, i guess [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2071506
Comments: 26
Kudos: 94





	1. Chapter 1

He’s not useless. He is not fucking useless. He does things of meaning. He helps people. People like him, right? If that’s so, then why does he feel like he’s useless?

Standing on top of his UFO, Purpled looks down at the ground. It’s so far down and Purpled’s afraid to jump, but God does he want to. The UFO is old and rusty. He’s only here to jump. It’s not like anyone will try to stop him anyway.

It’s the middle of the day; probably not the greatest time to try to kill himself. Well, I mean, it’s not like anyone will try to stop him. He doesn’t have any friends. His mind’s made up; he’s going to jump.

He stands up on the edge, looking down. A cold breeze ruffles his hair and he shivers. He feels a few tears slip from his eyes as he gets closer to the edge.

“Purpled?” Purpled freezes at the sound of someone’s voice saying his name. He doesn’t turn around, though.

“Go away.”

“I’m sorry it took me so long to get here. I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you sooner.”

“Get away from me.” Purpled turns around. Eighty stares straight at him. He was supposed to be here months ago, but he couldn’t bypass the code Callahan made to keep hackers out. Purpled guesses that it took Eighty a little while to get past the firewall.

Eighty looks at Purpled, and his heart  _ breaks.  _ “What did they do to you?” Eighty takes a step forward, and Purpled takes a step back. Eighty freezes.

“Leave.” Eighty’s making this so much more difficult then it needs to be. He can’t be convinced to come down. He’s spent too long thinking about this. He’s made a fucking decision, and Eighty can’t change his mind.

Eighty fidgets with the hem of his shirt anxiously. Purpled tries to read the older’s body language, but it isn’t quite working. He can’t tell what Eighty’s thinking and it’s practically killing him.

“Please, Purp,” Eighty begs. “Come here. We can talk about this. I’m here for you always.” It’s so tempting. Eighty’s presence is inviting. Purpled wants to collapse into his arms and cry.

“Just jump if you want to.” Purpled looks behind Eighty, and Eighty spins around. Dream stands there, staring with empty eyes. Eighty ignores Dream as he walks up to stand next to Eighty.

Purpled feels like crying again. Does Dream really hate him that much?

“It’s not like we’ll miss you.” Dream’s permanent smile becomes much more sinister as he continues speaking. “I mean, why do you think no one talks to you? It’s because we don’t care about you! We don’t need you here!”

“Don’t listen to him,” Eighty cuts in, shooting Dream and angry glare. “He’s wrong. You’re so much more than you think you are.” Purpled purses his lips. “Give yourself some credit, kid; you managed to melt this old man’s cold heart,” Eighty attempts a joke. Purpled can barely muster a half smile. Dream scoffs.

“He’s lying to you.”

“Purp, when have I ever lied to you?”

“He’s manipulating you.”

“I just want you to come home.”

“Just fucking jump already.”

“It isn’t worth it.”

“Shut  _ up!”  _ Purpled screams, bending down to rest most of his weight on his knees and feet. “Shut up shut up shut up shutupshutupshutup!” He covers his hands with his ears, tears finally falling freely from his eyes.

He lets out a choked sob. He just wants it all to stop. He can’t do this anymore. He can’t. He’s physically unable to keep going like this so why-

He opens his eyes.

Eighty and Dream are gone.

They weren’t there in the first place.

“Oh,” Purpled says quietly. He wipes his eyes and stands up. There’s no one here. He was just hallucinating again.

He lets out a small laugh. He’s such a fucking idiot. He believed they were real. It was just his mind arguing again. God, he’s so  _ stupid. _

He walks closer to the edge, his toes peeking out from the top. Just a gentle wind could knock him over, and he won’t even try to stop himself from falling.

No one’s here to talk him down. Of course it’s easier, but it hurts. If someone truly cared about him they would be here. They’d help him. They would listen and maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t even be here in the first place.

He looks up and around what he can see. He admires the builds of the people of the SMP have built. They’re all so beautiful, even Tubbo’s burnt down house. There’s so much history. Soon, he’ll go down in history as the forgotten boy of the Dream SMP.

He takes a deep breath and turns around. “I’m sorry, Ponk,” he whispers. Ponk is the closest person he has to a friend. He lets a silent tears fall from one of his eyes. He doesn’t even notice when he hears a desperate shriek from beside his UFO.

Spreading his nonexistent wings, he falls backward to the ground.


	2. Chapter 2

Karl was having a relatively normal day. He was walking with Quackity and Sapnap down the Prime Path, just looking at places around the server. He wasn’t here when most of these buildings were made, but he knows the history behind most of them.

It was nice when they were blissfully unaware of what was happening.

But now they know.

Karl and Quackity go silent as they watch a purple blur nears the edge of his UFO. Sapnap screams as loud as he can. The boy doesn’t notice, apparently, because he falls anyway.

Sapnap is the only able to move. He races towards the bottom of the UFO and places a water bucket. The water spreads around the area. Karl prays that it’ll catch the boy. It does, thankfully.

Quackity engulfs Karl in a tight hug. Karl hugs back, feeling Quackity’s tears stain his hoodie. Sapnap grabs the boy and holds him close. Karl brings Quackity with him to join Sapnap. They sit down next to the two.

Purpled is unconscious, but puffy eyes tell the three boys that he’s been crying. Sapnap’s sobbing into Purpled’s hoodie, repeating quiet phrases that Karl can’t quite make out. He places a hand on Sapnap’s shoulder, which Sapnap immediately shakes off. Karl feels a pang of guilt as he pulls his hand back. Quackity laces their fingers together as he sniffles.

“Sapnap…” Karl tries. Sapnap doesn’t look up, but he goes silent, “we have to take him somewhere else.” Sapnap’s unresponsive for a moment. It’s silent, save for Sapnap’s hiccups. He nods and looks up finally. Karl offers a small smile which Sapnap returns. Karl cups Sapnap’s cheek and wipes a few tears away with his thumb.

Karl doesn’t know the specifics of Sapnap’s relationship with Purpled. He’s heard about the seventeen year old before, but not much. He knows that Purpled plays in an illegal fighting arena called Bedwars and that he used to be really close with Dream, Punz, and Alyssa, but he doesn’t know much else. Sapnap talked about Purpled like someone would talk about a little brother, though. Karl can only assume they are - were? - somewhat close.

Quackity stands up, pulling Karl up as well. Sapnap stands. Purpled looks small in his arms. He’s curled up against Sapnap’s chest. Karl swears he saw Purpled dig his head further into Sapnap’s shirt, but he says nothing of it as the they begin to walk.

“We’re going to find Eret, okay? She’s probably in her castle.” Quackity’s voice is gentle. He doesn’t use this tone much. Karl thinks the last time that voice was used was when Tommy broke his arm.

Sapnap nods hesitantly. Karl knows that Sapnap doesn’t trust Eret, but Karl also knows that Eret will help if he needs to. This seems like the sort of situation that they would be willing to help with. At least, Karl hopes it is.

“Who’s he friends with? We should probably let them know about this.” Karl doesn’t remember seeing anyone with Purpled or talking about him, but he’s sure there has to be at least someone.

“Ponk,” Sapnap pauses, “I think.” Oh. Oh  _ no. _

Everything clicks in Karl’s mind as he puts the pieces together.

He plays Bedwars, a game that could get someone permakilled.

He  _ used  _ to be friends with Dream, Punz, and Alyssa.

The only person he has is supposedly possessed by the egg and unable to help.

‘Why would he try to kill himself?’

Because he’s  _ alone. _

Karl glances at the boy. He looks so much more fragile than Karl remembers seeing him all those months ago. He regrets leaving him alone for so long. If someone was there for him, this could’ve been prevented. Karl knows that he can’t manually travel back to fix it, but he can help fix Purpled’s future.

Karl had been so lost in thought, he hadn’t realized when they reached Eret’s castle. Quackity tightens his grip on Karl’s hand. Karl squeezes back. Sapnap takes a deep breath and continues walking.

“Who’s there?” A deep voice echoes through the castle as soon as the three fiances take a single step inside. Quackity freezes. Karl knows that he’s probably scared, but he drags Quackity further into the castle anyway. Sapnap’s ahead of them, looking for Eret.

“Eret? Where are you?” Sapnap calls.

“You aren’t allowed here.” Eret sounds slightly angry.

“I came here for help.”

“You made a mockery of my knights. I refuse to help you.”

“ _ I  _ don’t need your help, my friend does.”

“Any friend of yours is an enemy of me.” As the boys wander through the castle, Eret’s voice doesn’t change volumes. It’s like he’s only in their minds.

“Eret, please,” Karl begs.

“Karl?” Eret’s voice gets softer. The two of them, months ago, had agreed to never bother the other unless necessary. Karl’s presence meant that something was terribly wrong.

“It’s Purpled he-” Karl cuts himself off. “Look, we just need some help, okay?” Karl stands still. Sapnap comes to stand next to him.

“You should’ve led with that.” Eret appears in front of them, climbing out of the shadows. He whisks Purpled out of Sapnap’s arms and brings him over to a nearby bed. “Oh,” Eret says softly. “I didn’t realize he…” Eret trails off. “I shouldn’t never left him alone.” Eret’s hands are on Purpled head. Karl has no clue what she’s doing.

“What the hell are you doing to him?” Sapnap asks bitterly. Eret turns to him with a tired look.

“I’m a psychic, remember? How do you think I noticed your presence. God, how do you think I knew it was you that killed Karl and not one of my knights? I’m trying to read his thoughts, dipshit. He’s awake by the way.”

The four turn back to the boy on the bed. He’s curled up on the corner of the bed, leaning against the wall. His legs are tucked against his chest. He looks scared. Karl’s heart melts.

“Purp-”

“This is a hallucination,” he says. He sounds like he believes it. Karl purses his lips. He turns to Sapnap, expecting him to do something. Sapnap doesn’t seem like he can physically form any words. Quackity doesn’t speak either. Eret’s gone again. Karl guesses that he has to do all the talking.

“We’re real,” Karl assures him. He sits down on the edge of the bed, placing a hand on Purpled’s foot. Purpled’s eyes widen. He scrambles backwards further into the corner. Karl places his hand back on his lap.

So, Purpled’s been hallucinating?

“You wanna tell us what happened?” Karl moves next to Purpled. Sapnap takes a seat on the bed while Quackity stays standing.

“I-I’m supposed to be dead.”

“I saved you,” Sapnap whispers. “Please, Purps. Please tell me what’s happening.” Sapnap takes Purpled’s hand in his own, running his thumb on the top of Purpled’s hand. Purpled reluctantly relaxes it.

“You all left me and I-I couldn’t t-take it.” Purpled takes his hand out of Sapnap’s. Sapnap frowns slightly. Karl isn’t sure how to feel; sad, guilty, or angry? Sad that Purpled thinks he’s alone, guilty because he wasn’t there for Purpled, or angry because Purpled deserves so much better.

The room goes silent. Karl realizes that they  _ did _ leave Purpled. They left him. How long has he been alone for? Months? A year? He’s been isolated for more than a couple months, that’s for sure. The guilt eats at Karl from the inside. He silently vows to never let the kid out of his sight again.

“Please don’t tell Bad, he’ll kill me.” Sapnap furrows his eyebrows, and so does Karl. What does Sapnap’s dad have to do with anything.

“How do you mean?”

“I’m supposed to kill Puffy, I-”

“You’re  _ what now?” _

“He paid me, I have to do my job-”

“You’re a fucking  _ mercenary?” _ Sapnap clearly didn’t mean to raise his voice, but it happened. Purpled curls in on himself further. Karl places a hand on Sapnap’s shoulder to calm him down, and not just for Purpled’s sake. Quackity’s shaking now as well. Sapnap takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I just-” Sapnap cuts himself off with a sigh, “you should’ve told me. About all of this. I’m here for you.”

“Of course you’d say that. You say that and I know you don’t mean it.” Purpled looks away. Sapnap puts a hand on Purpled’s knee.

“Purps. I care about you so much. I should never have left you. Especially not with Dream.” Wait. That changes things. Karl didn’t know that Purpled was with Dream. He subconsciously tenses up.

“You don’t know what he did to me,” Purpled whispers, his eyes watering. Sapnap looks down at his hands.

“I know. I know. But I can help you recover. I’ll be here for you every step of the way. I promise that I won’t let you down, okay?” Sapnap gives Purpled a hopeful smile. Purpled musters up the best smile he can. “C’mon, let’s get you to Kinoko Kingdom. We can talk more there okay?” And he adds, under his breath supposedly just to himself, “I’ll have to have a talk with my dad soon.” Sapnap stands up. Karl does as well. Quackity immediately latches onto Karl again, taking his hand. Sapnap offers a hand to Purpled, pulling him up.

Purpled can barely stand. Karl had nearly forgotten that the boy almost died. He’s definitely injured, but it’s nothing that a healing potion can’t fix. Purpled leans against Sapnap for support.

“Come back anytime you need me,” Eret says and Karl jumps. Eret’s not here, but instead he’s speaking in their minds. Quackity rolls his eyes, and Karl knows what he’s thinking when he hears Eret laugh.

As the four walk out, Karl only has one thought; next time he visits Dream in prison, the inmate’s as good as dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i rewrote this. five times  
> one was with ponk  
> second was with hannah  
> third was with purp just dyin  
> fourth was with tiredsmp  
> n i finished with this one-
> 
> anyway!!! i hope you guys enjoyed :]


	3. alternate endings

Ponk watched Purpled. He watched the boy talk to nothing; scream at nothing. He saw the boy have a breakdown. He saw the boy walk closer to the edge of his UFO. That’s when he decided he’s had enough.

He’s on top of the UFO now. He ender pearled up. His mask is pulled down so Purpled can hear him. Purpled turns around to meet his eyes. Ponk runs towards him once Purpled begins to fall back. He hoists the younger up by yanking his arm back and pulling him into a hug. Purpled tries to escape Ponk’s grip as the older tightens his hug.

“Purpled, you fucking idiot,” Ponk says. He rests his head on Purpled’s shoulder. Purpled relaxes and hugs back, realizing that Ponk’s here - that Ponk’s  _ real.  _ Purpled, despite being an inch taller, digs his head into Ponk’s shoulder as he collapses into the older’s arms.

“I’m sorry,” Purpled sobs. Ponk runs his fingers through Purpled’s hair. Purpled digs his head further into Ponk’s shoulder.

“Shh, it’s okay. It’s alright.” Ponk presses a chaste kiss onto Purpled’s head. He’s rocking side to side as he tries to calm Purpled down. Purpled’s breathing evens out. He hiccups a little. He’s still shaking, but less so. “Talk to me, Pup,” he says softly after a moment. 

“I thought you didn’t care,” Purpled whispers. Ponk holds his breath for a moment as he thinks.

“I care about you. You’re like my annoying little brother that I would do anything for.” Ponk smiles before pulling his mask back up. He leads Purpled back into the UFO, avoiding the vines growing on it. That reminds him; he should probably take his contacts off soon.

The two get inside the UFO. Ponk leads Purpled to the old bed. The sit down, Purpled huddled against Ponk’s side and Ponk’s arm around Purpled’s shoulder.

“Tell me what happened. I know this isn’t it.” Ponk doesn’t want to pry, but he can’t stand seeing Purpled in pain. Purpled looks down at his hands. That’s when Ponk notices burns. Ponk, curious, pulls up one of Purpled’s sleeves. More burns. Ponk frowns. He knows what these marks mean; he’s seen them on Sam before. “Answer me honestly; did you go visit Dream?” Purpled pulls his sleeve back down.

“I did.” He looks guilty. Ponk sighs.

“I told you to stay away from him. He’s nothing but trouble, you hear me?”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Pup.” Ponk rests his head atop Purpled’s. “What did he say to you?”

“I…I don’t want to talk about it.” Ponk nods. He’ll have to ask about it later. Right now, the only thing he’s focused on is making sure Purpled doesn’t get overwhelmed.

Ponk moves his arm off of Purpled’s shoulder and stands. “Get some rest.” Purpled nods and lays down. Ponk drapes a blanket over him. The bed’s creaky, but it’ll do. Ponk’s hesitant to leave again. Purpled’s out almost immediately.

Ponk writes a note, telling Purpled to call him once he wakes up. He has to go see a certain someone.

* * *

It’s safe to say Hannah couldn’t breath as she watched Purpled fall from his UFO, heading straight for the floor. Her mind is screaming at her to move; to do  _ something  _ but she just fucking can’t. All she can do is stand there, mouth agape.

Her thoughts actually did something. The flowers by the UFO bloomed and grew impossibly large, providing something soft for the boy to fall on. Purpled looks surprised as he slides down on of the petals of the oxeye daisy.

Hannah goes weak in the knees and collapses with a scream. The flowers wilt and die, getting smaller. Purpled falls to the grass, but he doesn’t die. He looks at himself, confused, before turning to Hannah. She’s hugging herself.

She feels bad for crying. This is Purpled’s moment. This is his time to get his frustrations and feelings out. This is his time to finally be recognized. Even so, Hannah cries. She cries, and sobs, and hiccups.

She’s known Purpled for so long. She’s known him since before this SMP, back when he was just a kid having fun. This place broke him -  _ Dream  _ broke him. Worst of all, Hannah didn’t notice. She didn’t notice that her friend’s in pain. She didn’t see it until it was too late.

Purpled rests his forehead against hers, bringing her back to reality. He’s crying with her now, but he’s silent. Hannah pulls him into the tightest hug she can muster with how weak she’s feeling after accidentally overexerting herself like that.

He tenses up before relaxing again. He hugs back. Their foreheads are still resting against each other. It’s mildly uncomfortable, but they don’t move. Hannah doesn’t want to. She doesn’t want to let him go. If she had it her way, he would’ve never come here in the first place. She doesn’t even know why she’s here, anyway.

Hannah looks into Purpled’s eyes, and they don’t look the same that they used to. The childish curiosity and joy no longer light them up; he just looks empty. Hannah doesn’t know the extent of what happened, but she knows that Purpeld’s in pain. She wants to help.

“I’m sorry,” Purpled whispers. His voice wavers. Hannah shakes her head.

“It’s okay.” She sniffles. She evens out her breathing in an attempt to sound more coherent. That’s when she realizes how small Purpled feels. He’s much taller than her, but he much more thin than a boy his age and height should be. Hannah wipes her eyes. “I’m getting you out of here, okay?”

It’s impossible. The only person who’s ever left was Alyssa. While Hannah may not know Alyssa, she’s heard stories of the original member. She knows how she disappeared, leaving only a note for Callahan. She knows how upset Purpled was when he realized Alyssa never cared about him.

The server doesn’t allow anyone to leave. That’s why Hannah was so reluctant to let Purpled join, let alone accept the offer Punz gave her. She knows now that she should’ve declined even back when Purpled got an invite from Dream.

“Yeah. We’re getting out of here. We’ll go out in the world again. We can see Astelic, and Eighty, and Walli, and Sammy.” She smiles softly. “We can play actual Bedwars again.” There’s an illegal underground arena here, but it’s not real Bedwars. Purpled and Hannah both know this. “We’ll bring Dogchamp, and hey; maybe Ponk can come along!” Purpled and Ponk are friends, right?

Hannah doesn’t believe her words, but the smile on Purpled’s face is all worth the lie. That’s when she decides that she’ll get Purpled out of here. She herself may not be able to get out, but at least there’s a possibility of her getting Purpled out. She’s willing to take that risk, even if it costs her everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one person said to post the chapters i original thought of so here's two of them,, the other two will probably be out soon fdslkljkfd

**Author's Note:**

> COMMENTS MY BELOVED HAND THEM OVER


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